| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2009|07:15 pm] |
I would rather have eyes that cannot see; ears that cannot hear; lips that cannot speak, than a heart that cannot love |
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| What's worse than having an imaginary lover in your bed? |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|03:27 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
Hi.
Let me tell you about my life.
Right now, i am really emotionally unstable; i'm not crazy but my mood's been swinging and my temper's been uncontrollable these days.
Not only am I having problem with school & friends, but i am having uncontrollable recollections of the past of my love life.
I'm really trying not to cry even if i tell myself i'm already over you. but right now, i see the true side of me; I'm just denying all facts of still having you in my heart. I'm just going to flood and spoil my macbook with this useless tears dripping. shit.
I want to get lost in your eyes
I wish i could see you again
But i know i may never ever be able to see you again because you are a totally different person.
As I lay here tonight, i remember your movements,
Right here and now, I try to forget those moments
When your smile pierced through my heart
Because if i don't everything will fall apart
I feel the chill from the harsh strong breeze
Freezing my heart with your memories
You came into my mind, playing tricks again
Leaving me to cry in the pouring rain
Oh baby
For just one last time please hold me
For just this time, say you need me
Please stay with me, just be with me
Oh baby
For just this time, why can't you see
That I need you to be right here with me
I wish for you, right upon a star
That you didn't have to be so far
People tell me I'm wasting my time
And they're telling me to cross this line
To forgetting you and letting you go
to be continued |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|12:02 pm] |
Do you know what really disgusts me?- Couples who cant keep their hands to themselves. Every time he comes and find you will be every 5 minutes. He calls you every 5 minutes. He texts you every second. Fuck, aren't you guys just sick of it already? "Hey baby what are you doing now?" Ans: "BREATHING???" GEEZ
- You don't have to post obscene statuses on facebook telling the whole world you guys are sleeping with each other and having sex. Keep it to yourself, who wants to know that his dick is in your goddamn pussy?
- Right in front of everybody else you guys touch and caress everyday like as if your hands haven't touched his/her body for 1 million years.
It makes me SICK IN THE STOMACH. its DISGUSTING.
I wouldn't want my future boyfriend to stick to me like a fucking super glue.
Holding hands and occasional kisses are fine.
BUT NO caressing like mad in front of people.
its better when you two are alone, right? come on.
I hate to see mushy couples together nowadays. i wish i could just bomb them. they are filthy disgusting. fuck, i dont need to see his hand squeezing her butt right in front of me. Come on, have some dignity and shame people!!!
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| euthanasia |
[Nov. 13th, 2009|12:03 am] |
People who sleep late at night tend to get depressed easier and have suicidal thoughts.
Mommy, i'm afraid i'm one of them.
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| Hush, hush , hush hush, this is where it ends. |
[Nov. 12th, 2009|12:33 am] |
knowing that you dont need me.
you dont need to tell me because i know.
just like the way you said that you knew i loved you without feeling anything.
It's been almost 3 months and i've only seen you 1 time in between.
Now I don't know if i should take back my confession because it's like nothing to you.
I love you but yet you're numb about it...
You haven't changed, not even once. you never changed the way you think of me, never ever did.
and this tears that's longing to come out is not out of sadness, but loneliness and confusion.
Oh, i wish you could do something and save me from this misery you're putting me through...
meanwhile, while my heart gets lost within your life, I'm strengthening bonds and friendship,
jogging buddy and motor brudder, YW, is a nice chap and a good friend to be around with..
Good. at least i now know i have friends who will listen to me.
where are you?
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| what? |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|10:50 pm] |
What am I to you?
Am I just another girl to fill up your space,
Am I just another thing you can show off to
Or am I just simply something you're not proud to have?
What do you treat me as?
What to you feel for me?
What do you see in me?
Do you need me?
Do you want me?
Do you love me?
So why am I hanging onto you so dearly
When I know chances are very low
When I know you dont feel the same say as i do for you
When I know you dont need me
When I know you dont think of me
Why must you do this to me?
Why do you make me miss you so much?Why must you break my world apart by being so far away from me? |
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| Come to me |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|08:13 pm] |
I believe in hard work pays off.
I have always been putting in my best effort but sometimes people tend to think I can't be bothered. but what the fuck right, i shouldnt care about what they say about me because they dont know me at all.
I am just an average student with average results. yes so now my gpa is 3.3 and i am going to work very hard to secure that 3.5. THIS SEMESTER I MUST GET MORE THAN 3.7 so PUSH PUSH PUSH!
stress or not, loved or not, friends or none, i am going to work very hard. STUDIES ALWAYS COME FIRST. Work, CCA are not as important despite holding big roles in them because I HAVE SET MY MIND ON IT; STUDIES FIRST. so dont come thinking that i cant be bothered if i dont attend meetings because if something comes up and its regarding my RESULTS despite it being last minute, i will from now on prioritize my studies.
i'm going to be a fucking nerd.
get that clear in your head? yes? good. no? too bad for you.
Target!
SQM= A
UCCD = A
MICE = A
GOM = B+
MR = A
HRM = B+
= 3.83 |
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| MY IDEAL LOVER |
[Nov. 4th, 2009|06:09 pm] |
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falling for someone who's merely just a fantasy because in reality, you don't exist
Sometimes, being choosy is good. it prevents yourself from breaking your heart by being with the wrong person. ever since i broke up with you-know-who, i have been more cautious and thoughtful for going serious with someone else. I was having a chat with Minsi and Clar about what kind of guy they can see me with, or someone who i deserve.
so let me just say some values and characteristics of this ideal guy of mine :)
Personality: Just like someone we 3 know, cranky, fun and carefree
Looks: somewhat same height or taller
Build: Sleek, Slim/toned (NO TO MUSCULAR BUILDS YUCK)
Skin tone: malayish tan, or not-so-fair-but-not-too-tanned
Looks: *didnt discuss*
Studies well (not exactly smartass, but those that will study and do homework and tutorials)
Jams (musically talented in one way or another so that we can jam together :) )
Goes to Muay Thai lessons with me :)
and lastly i need a guy who knows his priorities :)
momma's boy is thumbs up
i dislike hardcore computer players
not much of a soccer fan either
shit. in conclusion,
just a guy who's exactly like me. But in reality, how many kinds of girls can you find that's like me? possibly just a handful out of a million so that's going to be bad because there might never be the right guy for me.
baby, if you don't exist, then I'll create you in my heart and imagine you're real... but will loving an imaginary person make me more depressed? i think so. i'm too picky and too choosy already. no one's just nice for me. shit. why is the world so unfair?
yeah like they say, nobody is perfect.
I don't want just a guy to fill up my time or fill up my heart when he tells me he loves me. what's the point in loving if promises can't be kept and it's so hard to trust? I need a guy who will accept me in any way i am, who will understand what i need, who knows what is right and what is wrong, someone who will be my role model and a supportive soul. someone who can safeguard my heart and not just fill it up.
so can i love nobody?
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shalimahsm's journal
